Free-Write Friday
1. Write without editing yourself and once your pen hits the paper, don’t stop. Go for five or fifteen minutes but don’t stop.
In the clouds…..
Writing, the practice where you take care of you, where you listen to what is inside of you and where sharing with anyone other than yourself is entirely optional. Go…
You Matter Mantras
- Trauma sucks. You don't.
- Write to express not to impress.
- It's not trauma informed if it's not informed by trauma survivors.
- Breathing isn't optional.
You Are Invited Too & To:
- Heal Write Now on Facebook
- Parenting with ACEs at the ACEsConectionNetwork
- The #FacesOfPTSD campaign.
- When I'm not post-traumatically pissed or stressed I try to Twitter, Instagram & Pinterest.
In the clouds, I believe I could be free, flying high above everything, viewing the landscape around me, watching but not engaging. This seems like a good place to watch the world, I think, but then realize that I’m afraid of heights. Desperately afraid of heights. I get vertigo-type feelings just thinking about what it would be like to skydive or fall from the Empire State Building. I ski, yet as I’ve grown older, I have noticed that I more often look straight ahead on a chair lift, searching for the unloading zone, rather than admiring the view around me. In fact, I’m more inclined to keep my feet on the ground at all times these days.
Which is ironic, because I hardly ever feel grounded. I didn’t even know what “being grounded” meant until a few years ago. While visiting an energy healer, she told me to drop my grounding cord.
“My what?” I thought, but dared not say outloud.
“Drop this cord from your root chakra all the way into the center of the Earth,” she continued.
“Out my butt?” I wondered. “Through the chair?” I was confused.
But then I did it. I left fear behind me, took that “leap” of faith, and jumped. What did I have to lose by picturing a spiraling, green cord running from my ass to the center of the Earth? And in fact, when I did picture it, I felt better. A lot better. At that feeling returned every time I grounded myself.
These days, I know my limits and they do include taking risks. Like going to the top of the Eiffel Tower with my husband and children even though I couldn’t wait to get back down to Earth. Or standing up for myself to family members who continue to hurt me. Which is often scarier. Because while it doesn’t involve altitude, protective clouds, or a safety net. But I do it, anyway. I now speak up, the scariest of all my fears, because like the grounding cord, or the Eiffel Tower, or defending myself, the alternatives are worse. The alternatives are feeling sucky, watching my family as they ascend to new heights w/o me, and letting myself down.
Brene Brown once said, “Don’t try to win over the haters; you are not a jackass whisperer.”
She’s right. No one should be a jackass whisperer. Speak up. The clouds might not catch you, but they’re up there watching. And they’ve got your back.
Jen, I love the idea of the clouds having your back. Your scene with the energy healing and the grounding cord made me laugh. And the irony too of not feeling grounded though liking to be on the ground. I’m so SO so glad you wrote and shared. And also, Go You, sticking up for yourself!