Dear You:
If you are coming to this page, you may not be feeling sunny, cheery and beachy. That’s why this photo is here.
Good still exists in the world no matter how bad you are feeling in this moment. I found this sign on a beach one day and had to take a picture. Now you have just found the same sign. And it’s true.
Imagine sitting on that sand and feeling the warmth of the sun on your hair or skin.
Imagine sipping in clear and fresh ocean water and letting yourself get nourished by the blue in the sky.
The feeling that you are lost is a feeling not a permanent state of being. Feeling triggered means you are in post-traumatic stress which I know is awful but also won’t last. Hang in there.
I am a frugal person by nature and got tired of going to a therapist to tell me the same things time and time again. When despairing or anxious I would forget, “This is just a feeling and it will pass” and was unable to surrender, embrace or breathe through it with any grace or ease on my own.
Yet, what I needed to feel better was predictable. I needed to hear, “This will pass,” and “The feeling that it will never end is just a feeling,” or “You are safe.”
I needed to hear those same things every time.
They brought relief each and every time.
But I kept forgetting that because that’s what happens when you are post-traumatically stressed out. You aren’t thinking clear and calm. And sometimes you need to hear or read something in a voice not your own because you can’t effectively reassure or soothe while afraid.
Anyone with post-traumatic stress knows wanting it to feel better, fast and yesterday. We’ve all had times when we want to run away, find a cure or a fix or something to dull, numb or obliterate feelings or symptoms.
That probably means you are over whelmed. When you’re overwhelmed it’s hard to feel wise, introspective or grounded.
Stop and take a breath.
Literally.
Place a hand on your belly and just remind yourself to breath.
Can you feel your belly move at all? Keep doing that.
What has soothed you in the past?
Remember, the saying “This too shall pass” wasn’t created by someone who had easy feeling after easy feeling going too quickly.
When you feel frozen or symptomatic it’s hard to believe you ever felt different than this or that anyone can relate.
Not so.
Others have felt this. You probably have felt it before.
I have.
You deserve support and concern and regard. Your own and from others.
Be as gentle with yourself as you would be to a loved one feeling precisely what you are feeling.
And if you want, try writing a soothing note to yourself? What would steady, calm or inspire you right now?
If you wish, continue reading letters, finding inspiration on the other pages or through other websites and resources.
You deserve the support you need.
Loved this article, Cissy. Thank you for writing it. I especially loved the part where you reminded the reader…that this feeling was temporary and that they were safe. We are not only survivors but can also be victors. Thanks again!
A moment all it takes to change someones life. An action impacts for life and words will always be remembered. Time becomes a loop where one can not escape and is trapped. It constantly brings you to thoughts and symptoms that really hurts deeply inside and that is not visible. The pain and the anguish is immense. You did your best to get through the first part and now you are tired because you have no effort left. You used to wake up every morning with a smile and a prayer, make your bed, shower and get yourself fired up. You were truly amazing how you handled things. You applied and applied yourself until you got a break. you thoughts of ways to be ahead of everyone because you discovered something very special. You kept it for yourself and never whispered a word. You were polite and courteous as well as mindful of everyone around. You knew and understood how a simple word and action can affect one for a life time. You were bubbly, encouraging and supportive of anything good in this world. You were forgiving and forgetting and allowed everyone to have many chances to change their ways. You were hurt and left to deal with the repercussions. Now you have left because you do not like what has happened. I miss you heaps. You do not want to come back because you do not like what have experienced. I am hurting deeply inside with so much and in silence. This is so very painful.
It is so tiring trying to “get a grip”, feel better, push away the bad thoughts. It does feel better others know this too and I’m not alone about this.
Karen,
It’s exhausting to work so hard isn’t it? I’m sorry it’s so hard. Please feel free to write the very letter to yourself that you would love to RECEIVE. If you want, I’ll share it as a post and leave it for others.
Warmly,
Cissy