Dear Nervous System:
You make my life hell. Seriously, hell.
Yeah, I know it’s not your fault and you are just doing your job. I really do. You’ve been pretty beat up.
But it’s not my fault either. F’n Trauma!
Still, it’s you who seems so high maintenance sending all these mixed messages all of the time. It’s hard not to know if I should run away or stay still. You’re kind of unpredictable.
I’m exhausted. Aren’t you tired?
Let’s figure things out because we’re stuck together.
I just wanted you to know that this note to your over-active nervous system really hit home. It’s currently 5:45am and I haven’t slept in days because of PTSD triggers, anxiety over starting the reporting process, and general inability to shut off my thoughts. This section of the website has given my tattered nerves and exhausted heart a push to keep trudging along. It’s hard when it feels like your body and brain are the reasons you cannot find relaxation and rest from the pain. I hope to come back and leave my own messages for others once this rough moment clears a bit
I’m so glad you found some respite. I hope you do write a note for others when you feel ready. Hang in there. It’s difficult stuff and you deserve to feel safe and rest and I hope peace finds you soon. Keep reading as often as it helps. I’ve found Pema Chodron and Cheri Huber books have helped immensely as well mostly because even when I was terrified of my own anxiety – both were like – yeah, it’s there and acknowledged it’s part of life (and trauma recovery) but weren’t completely freaked out (which I was). HANG IN THERE. Thanks for commenting.