“I fell in love with your words,” he said.
He loved the word necklaces I hung
on his chest
and being the subject
I defined, described
and delighted in.
“I loved your words—not you,”
he later said, at the end,
to cut me, as if I would differentiate the two.
“Stop writing about me,”
he said, years later,
as if it was up to him
what I took to poetry,
my soul or from relationships.
“Stop writing about me,”he said.
I couldn’t respond to him.
I write about everything and everyone.
If my feelings bend in his direction they will show up
in cursive, eye lashes, dreams and stars.
I cannot promise to be silent
or claim to know what of him
is in me now
or to trim the parts of my heart
where he once lived.
He’s in every crease line, cracked-smile opening and the cells in my marrow.
He’s in the drops of every tear with everyone I’ve ever loved.
Love is not an outfit I can climb in or out of.
Love is blood, hair and outlook. Love is skin.
Love makes a sacred pool we marinate in for eternity.
I will not apologize for the loves or words I choose.
“Stop writing about me,” no one ever said in love.
But love never stops. I love love.
Love good, gone bad and even over is holy.
I keep all love and words together in me.
I will not be silent for anyone
especially about love.
This is my poem and my promise.
You Matter Mantras
- Trauma sucks. You don't.
- Write to express not to impress.
- It's not trauma informed if it's not informed by trauma survivors.
- Breathing isn't optional.
You Are Invited Too & To:
- Heal Write Now on Facebook
- Parenting with ACEs at the ACEsConectionNetwork
- The #FacesOfPTSD campaign.
- When I'm not post-traumatically pissed or stressed I try to Twitter, Instagram & Pinterest.
Don’t stop writing about me Cis, I think it is good for you (and me) for you to do so. Good and Bad.
Mom,
I don’t think it’s possible for me to stop. At least yet. But you reading what I write is totally optional!
Love, Cis
Beautiful poem Cissy. I love it. You do have a way with words. Keep writing & thank you.
Thank you for commenting Stacey!!!!! 🙂
I love your poem Cissy. It’s beautiful. It resonates with things in my heart that I’m recently feeling but have a hard time knowing what’s right or why? Your poem brought me beautiful clarity .
Thank you. 🙂
Davina: I’m so glad it had that impact on you. Thank you for letting me know. That means so much to me! Often we write for people we will never meet even as our words might be about those we have known quite well and who have helped grow us. Keep writing!!!!!!
Cissy
Yes. I’ve recently started writing. And I love it. I write in the moment. Filled with heart and soul. And later when I look back , I question what I write. But then, I read what others have written and their writings envelope me. Encourage me. Caress my soul. And help me grow as well. . Thank you for replying. What you said meant a lot to me !