Free-Write Friday: Thank a First Responder or Be One to Someone

I just listened to NPR and learned that one of the firefighters, Michael Kennedy, who died on Wednesday was not only a public servant, but a Big Brother for seven years who was training to run in the Boston marathon. Also, the night before his death he was at a conference for burn victims.

I got weepy in my car taking my daughter to school this morning.

People can be so good, kind and generous. We don’t even hear about half the things people do until a tragedy happens.

I felt sad and uplifted listening to the radio because this man didn’t say, “I’m a firefighter. That’s enough.” He did more.

I’m blown away by his decency and reminded of how infrequently good news makes headlines.

So today, on Free-Write Friday, the topic is First Responders.

You can go anywhere you want with the topic. Maybe you will write about the paramedic who drove you to the hospital when a relative was dying or the firefighter who saved your house and pets on a snowy winter morning when you were nine. Perhaps you will remember the police officer who came after you little brother ran from danger to call 911 when you and your sister were in danger and no adults were home.

Maybe you will think of the people who respond to you in your everyday life who don’t get paid for the love they give freely. I know I have people I can call who will come even when it’s not convenient if I ask. I am aware that is a gift not a guarantee.

I think of the friend who made baked macaroni and delivered it to my house when I had unexpected company for a week (Nana Connie) I think of the time my sister drove two hours to help me pick out a new car when mine was totaled (Karyn), and the neighbor who lent me hers for a full week (Barb).

I think of the aunt who endlessly made tea and listened at her kitchen table for years – or was it decades? – who opened her heart and home to me (Worry).

I am indebted to the friend who forgave me though I was a total shit (Lynn). I hurt her to protect myself and she let me back in her life anyhow. Then there is Beth who sent flowers after my divorce. It was she who talked me through my paralysis when water filled my basement taking out my heating system, washer, dryer and car. She never said, “You dumb ass” because I was unprepared even though I live four houses from the ocean and my sister had called to tell me how bad the coming storm would be. There was the family (Jeff plus) who pooled money for me and gave it without fanfare so I could regroup.

I’m thinking of all of the people who respond to me and wondering what more I can do. Should I sign back up at a prison or shelter, the volunteer work I felt I had more time for before I was a mother? Should I get back in touch with the foster child who was strong and resilient and let him know how much he impressed me and that I think about him?

Can I give time or money to my town’s food bank or send a text saying “I love you” to the friend who listened after my last heartbreak (Kathy). She was the person who acted interested in my words all nine hundred times without eye rolling or telling me I was being dramatic because she knew I had to figure things out in my own time.

Whatever you do or say, let it happen today. Don’t wait. 

Maybe you get a gift card for the friend who gives you all her old clothes (Heidi) even when she could bring them to a consignment shop and get money. Instead she gives them and makes me feel I’m doing her a favor to take them off her hands. The kindness is endless. The neighbor who lets me park in her driveway when it snows (Margaret) who shares plant seeds or the one who totally gets you when you aren’t even sure you are making sense (Jen).

Even if you only invite a sad neighbor in to play cards or savor a memory as I have of the time my child realized I wasn’t just her parent but a person and she made me tea without me asking because I wasn’t feeling well.

There are so many big and small moments of good. I want to collect them all, obsess about kindness and ruminate not on worry but all the times I felt expansive and generous or humbled when someone walked into the  mess of a moment, got down on the floor, hugged me and helped me tidy up, or the time someone trusted me enough to let me help them when they were vulnerable? Isn’t that the steak of intimacy and connection that bleeds substance? Sop it up.

So many of us are touched this week, and it more than alarm fire on T.V. and are hearing all about lost plans and watching rescuers attempt searches in Washington mud.

We feel the collective awareness of how short life is and how much people matter.

I feel buoyed not sunk. There is so much generosity as well as tragedy. My best self feels awake. Pay attention and contribute my soul is scareming.

I admit to being feverish from the strep that’s going around my house. I’m feeling more openly sentimental than normal. But honestly, I want to verbalize my gratitude via this blog because there are so many times I feel small. I don’t have to reach far back to remember.

At 7:30 a.m., today, I hopped on the computer to try to make a donation to a friend’s cousin. I don’t know him but I love my friend. She posted a picture of her cousin the father. His toddler was holding a sign asking people to help her father. How could I not?  I tried.

I went through the Pay Pal process, figured out what I could afford and hit send. But my account needed updating. The old credit card was invalid.

Forget it. “I’ll do it later” I lied to myself knowing that wouldn’t happen. I don’t even know him I thought and what difference is a mere $25.00 going to make? Maybe I’ll just give cash to my friend when I see her.

Then, on the car ride home I listened to details about firefighter Michael Kennedy. Is it really too hard today for you to go change your credit card method to help someone? I asked myself. I wish I could say I’m never that selfish and I just don’t feel good. Nope. It’s happened before when I haven’t done something I intended to because I got tired or lazy or forgot as though putting in on the to do list was enough.

It’s not. So today, I’m going to spend some precious time doing something for someone I don’t know. We can respect, admire and join in at being the good we want to see in this world.

Maybe I’ll make cookies for the firehouse and write supporting a pay increase for firefighters or both.  Maybe I’ll make lasagna for the ill neighbor who is battling cancer or lost a spouse. Maybe I’ll bring flowers to the mom who has a child with autism who is loving. patient and kind even though I hear how often her boy cries. I know she has to be tired or sad sometimes.

Maybe I’ll say I love you or thank you to the people who make my life sweeter and easier. The friend (Laura) who gave you a bracelet that says, “be brave” is on my mind, as is the one (Michele) who gives me all her glass food containers which are now in my kitchen. I remembered the cousin of the cousin (Stephanie) who gave my ex-husband and daughter their best Red Sox experience even though she didn’t have to.

Let’s spread the gratitude and kindness.  I don’t think it’s boastful but celebratory and hopefully contagious.

My aunt’s friend lost a grandson a few years back. On what would have been his last birthday everyone was asked to do an act of goodness to remember him. Isn’t that a wonderful tradition for honoring the dead?

Go be loving. And write. Today, the topic is First Responders. Remember them. Love them. Be one.

P.S. Here’s a link to the Big Brothers and Big Sisters of Mass.

http://www.bbbsmb.org/site/c.9gKMJZMxF7LUG/b.8453071/k.A45A/Boston_Mentoring.htm

See these beautiful bracelets which raise money for children who have been abused.

https://bravelets.com/