Belleruth Naperstek was a therapist for three decades and is the author of Invisible Heroes: Trauma Survivors and How They Heal. She’s warm and tough, has a hopeful optimism and no-nonsense directness that makes me think she’s channeling Hilary Clinton, Kwan Yin and Dr. Phil. She loves research and studies almost as much as providing people with accessible and helpful tools to help ease or eliminate post-traumatic stress symptoms.
She believes Post-Traumatic Stress (PTS) is more of a physiological condition than a psychological one. Fearless and ahead of her time, she challenges other mental health colleagues who consider PTSD incurable or don’t stay on top of what works best for people with this condition. One of my favorite quotes by her is from a Huffington Post article where she wrote:
“You can recover from posttraumatic stress. Certainly, you can significantly reduce – not just manage – its symptoms. But – and here’s the thing – not with traditional treatment. The problem is, a lot of my colleagues don’t know this yet. So they go about it in traditional ways and pronounce the condition incurable, based on the results they get. “
The following video has helpful information. Start the video at 2 min. and 17 sec. to hear about PTS specifically or watch the entire thing to learn about guided imagery in general.
“If you think about it, traumatic stress is the great big grand daddy of all mind-body conditions. It’s the primitive brain. It’s the mid brain that’s in survival mode. It’s totally activated. You’re not going to get to it talking to somebody here (front of head). You have to talk to them back here (back of head). That’s where the condition sits in the brain. Guided imagery does that. It speaks to perception, emotion, muscular reactivity, sensation. It’s all that primitive stuff. Talk and psychotherapy is not gonna touch it.”
To which I say, I want a refund or at least an apology for all the friggin talk therapy. I’ve done a lot of talking for a lot of years and it wasn’t cheap.
I know some of it was useful but I was diagnosed with PTS in the “feel it to heal it” days where if talking once a week didn’t help, coming twice was suggested. I’m glad I couldn’t afford that because it likely would have made a hard time even worse. educated about what my body needed to soothe my brain. Luckily, I have the chance to focus on that now. writing which all engage the body and the senses and often feel fantastic.
What I realize though is how often I pull rank with my brain and boss my body around. Instead of asking, “What do I want or need?” and staying open and curious I have berated myself for feeling agitated or anxious. I want to become a person who says even if I’m the 1 in 100 I will advocate for myself instead of comparing myself to the other 99. I’m not there yet but that’s what I admire.
I’ve spent a lot of years as a by-the-book person trying to boss myself around and order myself to get in line despite how rarely that benefits me.
Being a pacifist who wars with the self is not good for peace at the core.
So, this brings me to the free-write of the week.
Free-Write in 2 Parts
1)I War With Myself When I…….
2)Making Peace with Myself Might Mean…..
You Matter Mantras
- Trauma sucks. You don't.
- Write to express not to impress.
- It's not trauma informed if it's not informed by trauma survivors.
- Breathing isn't optional.
You Are Invited Too & To:
- Heal Write Now on Facebook
- Parenting with ACEs at the ACEsConectionNetwork
- The #FacesOfPTSD campaign.
- When I'm not post-traumatically pissed or stressed I try to Twitter, Instagram & Pinterest.
I war with myself when my ego gets the best of me, when I think I am actually in control of my surroundings, mostly the people whom I think will suddenly come to their senses and apologize. How arrogant, I know, recognizing it both simultaneously and also later on as I read some passage that makes me realize how small and insignificant I actually am. But not in a belittling manner, no, not that way. Instead, I acknowledge my place amongst the humans as being no better or no worse, no more enlightened or less evolved. Simply put, just here.
When I think of making peace with myself, I find myself in a state of extreme bliss and happiness. Not because everything is fine or even grandiose, but that I have made peace with the demons that are my past. Those demons that tell me, even in my own voice, that I am lesser or not worthy of love or that in order to receive love, I must give everything, especially those parts of myself that are my own. Those parts that I am still at war with. Those parts that, should they fall prey to the wrong hands would forever scar me and they do. Oh, how they have. But in making peace with myself, I accept even these parts, especially these experiences, despite the enormous crevasses of pain, because without them, the war would continue. It is only in making peace with myself that the war can cease. And it is only in the act of peace that we can fully heal and fully forgive.
Jen,
What amazes me sometimes is that the peace we seek is not always intuitive. Even things that would benefit us can sometimes be resisted or rejected. As I get older, this can throw me. More and more I find I have to DO things (yoga or guided imagery) that bring me to peace and then I don’t do so much mental wrestling and fighting. But it does seem to be my default setting. That feeling that we have to give it all, give it over and prove worthiness… I’m not exactly sure where it comes from. I do try to notice when I’m doing stuff out of obligation or guilt or bargaining which usually don’t lead to good places. Thanks for writing! Cis