Ted Talks on Domestic Violence

Leslie Morgan Steiner, Ted talk,  on what she calls the secrets of domestic violence called, “Crazy Love” and it is  about “the man I thought was my soul mate.”

http://www.ted.com/talks/leslie_morgan_steiner_why_domestic_violence_victims_don_t_leave.html

“It’s a woman’s issue. Not exactly. Over 85% of abusers are men.”

Jackson Katz, Ted talk, “Violence Against Women, It’s a Men’s Issue”

It’s frustrating not to be able to find TedTalks about Domestic Violence by Women. However, I couldn’t find one and this one has some fabulous information.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTvSfeCRxe8&list=PL76AF5E73855D163A&index=12

If you don’t watch the entire thing, though it’s worth the time, please read the following where Katz, referencing the work of Julia Penelope talks about how abuse and violence by men turns into a culture focusing on the woman who is abused. “The way we use language conspires to keep our attention off of men.”

This, to me, is all one needs to know about why and how the “personal is political.”

He talks about how, the action and event is as follows:

1.

1.1.John beat Mary. (This shows John’s actions and what he has done to Mary. John is the subject).

2. 2. Mary was beaten by John. (This is the sentence in passive voice which shifts the focus from John to Mary and now John is almost an afterthought and Mary the subject).

3. 3. Mary was beaten or Mary was battered. (Now we’re describing what happened to Mary and we don’t talk about by who or what the cause was and John is gone).

4.  4. Mary is a battered woman. (Now, we are talking about Mary as though what was done to her, by John, is now her identity. John did this but where did John go?).

John’s disappearance in the language IS what victim blaming is, in action.

Does Mary need services, protection and treatment as well as attention, medical and psychological, etc? Yes, but “asking questions about Mary isn’t going to get us anywhere in preventing violence?”

He suggests questions such as:

Why does John beat Mary?
Why is domestic violence still a problem?
Why do men abuse women and girls and boys and men?
Why do adult men abuse little girls and boys?

Why do so many men rape other women?

Why do men rape other men?

What is going on in the society to produce so many abusive men?
If we don’t ask the questions about John, violence and why are so many men abusing (and some women abuse men as well), what will change? We need to ask these questions, and by focusing on Mary, we don’t.