{"id":3496,"date":"2015-11-13T13:23:17","date_gmt":"2015-11-13T18:23:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/healwritenow.com\/?p=3496"},"modified":"2015-11-13T16:54:19","modified_gmt":"2015-11-13T21:54:19","slug":"its-not-the-starbucks-ad-im-seeing-red-over","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/healwritenow.com\/its-not-the-starbucks-ad-im-seeing-red-over\/","title":{"rendered":"It’s Not the Starbucks Ad I’m Seeing Red Over: Rape Culture is a Bloomindale’s Ad"},"content":{"rendered":"

“Spike \u00a0your best friend’s egg nog when they are not looking” reads the tag line of the Bloomingdale’s ad in a recent holiday catalog.<\/p>\n

\"rape<\/p>\n

A woman is looking away, laugh smiling at someone while a man is leering at her. The words are between them.<\/p>\n

Are you f’n kidding me?<\/h3>\n

What exactly is being sold here or advertised? The clothes? The concept? The season?<\/p>\n

Who at Bloomingdale’s thought this up and what team or boss or authority reviewed, approved it and sent it into to circulation?<\/p>\n

I don’t get it and the fact that is happened during the same week as people have lost their minds over the Starbucks Holiday cup is making my head spin.<\/p>\n

Could someone explain to me why this doesn’t get the same level of outrage?<\/p>\n

I know I’m seeing red.<\/p>\n

It’s not like an ad is Instagram photo that gets shot and accidentally sent out in the world.<\/p>\n

People modeled for the ad. Someone had to think up the tag line, commit it to type, choose a font and color and then share the whole thing. That doesn’t happen with one person and one department in most places.<\/h3>\n

It usually requires levels of approval.<\/h3>\n

WTF Bloomingdales?<\/h3>\n

And if you think they feel all bad for this horrible mistake please read the “apology” that came from Bloomingdale’s.<\/a><\/p>\n

“In reflection of recent feedback, the copy we used in our recent catalog was inappropriate and in poor taste,\u201d a spokesperson said in a statement. \u201cBloomingdale\u2019s sincerely apologizes for this error in judgment.”<\/p>\n

It’s inappropriate and in bad taste just in reflection of recent feedback?\u00a0Just in reflection? Does that mean if\u00a0feedback were different it wouldn’t be inappropriate or in bad taste?<\/p>\n

Huh?<\/p>\n

Then there’s the headlines about the story.<\/p>\n

Fortune:<\/a> Bloomindale’s Apologizes for Ad Seen as Encouraging Date Rape<\/p>\n

NBC<\/a>:\u00a0Bloomingdale\u2019s Says Sorry for Holiday Ad That Seemingly Implies Date Rape<\/p>\n

Seen as?<\/em><\/p>\n

Seemingly?<\/em><\/p>\n

I’m sorry, what else is one supposed to infer about secretly spiking your best friend’s eggnog while out at a holiday party while she’s not looking?<\/p>\n

What’s the other less date rapey implication I’m supposed to be taking away that I’m missing?<\/p>\n

You don’t have to be a feminist or an activist or a scholar to know what rape culture is in a week like this.<\/p>\n

It’s simple: Rape culture is the culture where this ad gets made.<\/h2>\n

Rape culture is where Bloomingdale’s gets away without a real apology and where those writing headlines don’t know how to be clear.<\/p>\n

Rape culture is where Bill Cosby needs to have dozens of women say the same thing for years before one of them is believed.<\/p>\n

Rape culture is where perpetrators are seen as victims of attacks when actual victims report crimes.<\/p>\n

Rape culture is spiking a drink while a woman isn’t looking and thinking it’s an image great for helping sell shit.<\/p>\n

Rape culture is the one I live in and that’s terrifying because I’m female and a sister, daughter and mother.<\/p>\n

Rape culture is the one where 1 in 5 females will experience sexual assault just while at college.<\/p>\n

It’s the one where 1 in 4 (or 1 in 3) of us females will be sexually assaulted during our lives.<\/p>\n

This world.<\/p>\n

This culture.<\/p>\n

That’s it.\u00a0That’s how tragically simple and common rape culture is. It’s the one we live in.<\/p>\n

Right now.<\/p>\n

The one where\u00a0some\u00a0of us have to remind others that rape isn’t funny, sexy or a good ad idea.<\/p>\n

Where we have to say. Again. Rape is a crime.<\/p>\n

Rape is violent, real, serious and not funny.<\/p>\n

90% of the time victims of sexual violence KNOW the person who they are assaulted by. Just like in this ad.\u00a0Which is why the\u00a0entire conversation about consent is so important.<\/p>\n

Which is why it’s hard to know why Bloomingdale’s doesn’t know or care about these facts. Or disregards them.<\/p>\n

90% of people assaulted know the perpetrator who is often a friend, teacher, co-worker, boss, neighbor or relative.<\/p>\n

That people don’t understand or take this seriously is also rape culture.<\/p>\n

The time and place where people still suggest secretly spiking eggnog is a kind of festive druggy flirting thing.<\/p>\n

Despite the reality.<\/p>\n

And it didn’t get shut down.<\/p>\n

That’s rape culture in the present tense of now. 2015. This f’n week.<\/p>\n

It’s astounding and there are a fuck ton of us who don’t think it’s even a tiny bit funny, seductive, smart or charming and who are royally pissed off.<\/p>\n

We know the real picture behind that picture.<\/p>\n

The one not used as an ad where that follows after the non consent or drugging or spiking.\u00a0We’ve seen or lived the woman who is sobbing and heartbroken and shocked-shattered and limp because she’s been violated and by the “best friend” who turned out not to be the best.<\/span><\/p>\n

Or is the criminal, offender and perpetrator.<\/span><\/p>\n

And not a slick ad.<\/span><\/p>\n

So I’m having a bad day. I’m in a terrible mood. That was true before I saw this ad but the ad tipped me all of the way over into rant-vent-fury.<\/p>\n

So maybe no to the ad, to the bullshit apology and to having to explain rape culture in the culture where an ad like this gets made.<\/p>\n

No to having to make a case, again and again and again, saying rape is a crime not a joke.<\/p>\n

No to the eye rolling people who just don’t want to think or hear about this.<\/p>\n

The eye rollers made this ad.<\/p>\n

The eye rollers approved this ad.<\/p>\n

The eye rollers didn’t listen to anyone who might have said, “Not funny. Not happening. Not a good idea. Not o.k.”<\/p>\n

How the hell does this ad even get made?<\/p>\n

I can’t even imagine the process. It seems unfathomable except that it happened.<\/p>\n

My friend Laura Parrot Perry wrote on her Facebook page:<\/p>\n

“So, there’s a marketing meeting at Bloomingdale’s. The ad agency guy, dressed like Don Draper, says, “You know what’s festive and fun? DATE RAPE!” And all the men nod their heads… “That’s a GREAT idea, Don! You sure do have your finger on the pulse of what ladies like!”<\/p>\n

I need to believe there was no woman in the room.”<\/p>\n

I hear that.<\/p>\n

I need to believe one\u00a0day an ad like this one won’t even be thought of as a good idea by anyone.<\/p>\n

Not a single soul.<\/p>\n

That we’ll have to dig through archives to prove to others that there was a time when something like this happened.<\/p>\n

Because it won’t be believed or believable.<\/p>\n

Unfortunately, it\u00a0won’t be this week.<\/p>\n

Because?<\/p>\n

Rape culture.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

“Spike \u00a0your best friend’s egg nog when they are not looking” reads the tag line of the Bloomingdale’s ad in a recent holiday catalog. A woman is looking away, laugh smiling at someone while a man is leering at her. The words are between them. Are you f’n kidding me? What exactly is being sold […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[192,39,87],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nIt's Not the Starbucks Ad I'm Seeing Red Over: Rape Culture is a Bloomindale's Ad - Heal Write Now for Trauma Survivors & Adults Abused as Children<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/healwritenow.com\/its-not-the-starbucks-ad-im-seeing-red-over\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"It's Not the Starbucks Ad I'm Seeing Red Over: Rape Culture is a Bloomindale's Ad - Heal Write Now for Trauma Survivors & Adults Abused as Children\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"“Spike \u00a0your best friend’s egg nog when they are not looking” reads the tag line of the Bloomingdale’s ad in a recent holiday catalog. 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