{"id":1770,"date":"2014-05-02T18:44:46","date_gmt":"2014-05-02T22:44:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/healwritenow.com\/?p=1770"},"modified":"2017-01-30T12:14:28","modified_gmt":"2017-01-30T17:14:28","slug":"free-writing-friday-getting-past-cares-prompt-bottom","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/healwritenow.com\/free-writing-friday-getting-past-cares-prompt-bottom\/","title":{"rendered":"Free-Writing Friday: The Who Cares Question"},"content":{"rendered":"

This\u00a0is a piece I’m still working on. This is the first draft.\u00a0Draft 2 was brought to my writer’s group. Draft 3 is being worked on in my brain. <\/em><\/p>\n

This version was posted\u00a0at\u00a0ww.createwritenow.com<\/a> a fabulous journal-writing website and resource on Tuesday.<\/em>\"writetruth\"<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t get writer\u2019s block. I don\u2019t believe in writer\u2019s block. When my eleven-year old says, \u201cI don\u2019t feel like cleaning\u201d I say, \u201cThat\u2019s the great part about it \u2013 the floor won’t mind. You can do it even when you aren’t in the mood.”<\/p>\n

I feel the same about writing. Knowing I can do it even when I’m not inspired\u00a0takes the pressure off.\u00a0I can apply a work ethic to what others call writing block and words always come. What a relief.<\/p>\n

Where I get stuck, is after writing, when I want to send my words off into the universe and am stung with the\u00a0\u201cWho cares?\u201d question. It\u2019s the critical voice who asks: What do you know? Who cares what you think?\u00a0What makes you an authority on anything?”<\/p>\n

Sharing writing is a radical act of self-acceptance.\u00a0I care what you have to say. To risk rejection I have to say, “I think others might care,” and “I’ve got your back if it’s not true.”<\/p>\n

When I write, I practice being o.k. with myself, as I am, not I wish I were.<\/p>\n

The page is like the shower, that place where I am naked\u00a0with cellulite and\u00a0scars for a few moments before grabbing a towel. It is possible, even with words, to hide. I can choose to leave some parts out and emphasize others. But\u00a0I will know if I’m lying.<\/p>\n

To be powerful, the writing must be honest.\u00a0That’s what makes it terrifying and powerful.<\/p>\n

To get beneath my fear, or what Buddhist Cheri Huber calls, the “conditioned response, I write daily for ten minutes straight without lifting my pen off the paper, ignoring punctuation and grammar, which allows me instant access\u00a0to my soul. Writing that way, for me, turns my pen into truth serum.<\/p>\n

In that space, my soul gets to sing even if she\u2019s off key.<\/p>\n

My heart gets to long out loud even if it\u2019s unrequited.<\/p>\n

My brain gets a break from figuring, working and maneuvering.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m uncensored, unguarded and unrehearsed.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m not worrying about how I might seem or sound as a mother, daughter, neighbor or employee.\u00a0I\u2019m not reacting or responding as the person someone told me I was\u00a0ten years ago. I\u2019m not selling or projecting myself. Instead, I’m just\u00a0being with myself being myself.<\/p>\n

Maybe some people can stay connected to the deepest self without effort or practice. I am not one of them. It takes work and effort for me not\u00a0stay\u00a0dizzy or\u00a0numb. On the page, I practice going in and under and take a break from being\u00a0endlessly on \u2013 online, on guard or on the couch.<\/p>\n

My tendency is to judge or shame whatever\u00a0emotion arises and to call it “bad” or “wrong”\u00a0even though I know\u00a0it’s old coping style that might make me feel in control but not seen or loved. I might ache for a loving mother and show up for myself as a drill sergeant instead commanding me to get in line or order or at least to appear as though I am.<\/p>\n

In my mind, I do this automatically but on the page, I can catch myself, I can hear myself. When I do, after I write, I can ask myself, “Would you talk that way to a friend or your child?” I would not. Even if the friend was talking about Spirulina as a smoothie supplement or my daughter is telling me about the 3rd book in the Divergent series. I’ll let her spoil the plot line and ruin the movie because her eagerness is more important than my suspense. With myself, I’m less tender and patient.<\/p>\n

Writing, with myself and for myself, helps.<\/p>\n

Reading intimate words also matter.<\/p>\n

When Nick Flynn wrote Another Bullshit Night in Suck City<\/em> about his mother\u2019s suicide and his father\u2019s homelessness and alcoholism, I\u2019m happy he didn\u2019t say, \u201cThis is too traumatic, dramatic and intense to write. No one will relate.\u201d I have a homeless alcoholic father and reading his words about that experience made me feel relieved and understood. I love that book.<\/p>\n

I remind myself that it doesn’t have to be everyone’s story to matter and understand what writers mean when they say, “If it reaches even one person” because I feel that way as well.<\/p>\n

In the world of social media, when we can count the Tweets, shares and Likes (and I do that too), it can be easy to forget what brings us to the private space of the page, what has brought writers to the page long before computers or even typewriters – exploration of self and others for self and others, to be able on pages to run our fingers across the experiences of other people, to inhabit worlds and ideas and hearts as though they are soft rose petals between our own fingers, to feel them in and on and under our skin while seeing, smelling and inhabiting them. That’s what words can do.<\/p>\n

Words are needed regularly, as solace and sustenance.<\/p>\n

Even if my words are only for myself they have value.<\/strong><\/p>\n

The routine never has to get tired. For me, writing is like drinking coffee, making love and preparing a meal.\u00a0I never wake up and say, “I”m so sick of coffee.” I don’t turn away from an orgasm thinking, “I’ve done that before.” When I want an easy breakfast I don’t rule out the toast and hard-boiled egg because someone else has had it before.<\/p>\n

I’ve never thought, “coffee is so clich\u00e9” because\u00a0today’s\u00a0coffee isn\u2019t yesterday\u2019s cup even if all the ingredients are the same.\u00a0The same is true with words.<\/p>\n

Telling the truth to ourselves, about ourselves and for ourselves is important. Sometimes, I think we forget that our stories, lives, feelings and words matter. But when people are sharing, deeply, I am in bliss. I love to hear stories that friends and neighbors share, that writers and musicians share, those strangers on the radio share.<\/p>\n

Stories matter. Lives matters. Words matter. Mine. Yours. Ours. Really, the question isn’t “Who cares? but “Does anything matter more?”<\/p>\n

<\/h2>\n

FREE-WRITE: 2 Parts<\/h2>\n

1.\u00a0What blocks you from writing or sharing your words? Explore this issue in writing. What makes you hesitate? Do you feel like your grammar needs work or you aren’t an authority on anything or it’s “too late” because you haven’t done it all by now?<\/p>\n

2. Once you know some of what’s making you feel stuck, can you write, again in free-write style, about what you might need in order to write more. Do you need more support? Or maybe more privacy? Do you need to shred your words or maybe have one or five people to share them with?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This\u00a0is a piece I’m still working on. This is the first draft.\u00a0Draft 2 was brought to my writer’s group. Draft 3 is being worked on in my brain. This version was posted\u00a0at\u00a0ww.createwritenow.com a fabulous journal-writing website and resource on Tuesday. I don\u2019t get writer\u2019s block. I don\u2019t believe in writer\u2019s block. When my eleven-year old […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[63,54],"tags":[117],"yoast_head":"\nFree Write Friday<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I don\u2019t get writer\u2019s block. I don\u2019t believe in writer\u2019s block. When my eleven-year old says, \u201cI don\u2019t feel like cleaning\u201d I say, \u201cThat\u2019s the great part about it \u2013 the floor won't mind. You can do it even when you aren't in the mood."\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/healwritenow.com\/free-writing-friday-getting-past-cares-prompt-bottom\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Free Write Friday\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I don\u2019t get writer\u2019s block. I don\u2019t believe in writer\u2019s block. When my eleven-year old says, \u201cI don\u2019t feel like cleaning\u201d I say, \u201cThat\u2019s the great part about it \u2013 the floor won't mind. 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