{"id":1228,"date":"2014-03-18T12:19:57","date_gmt":"2014-03-18T16:19:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/healwritenow.com\/?p=1228"},"modified":"2014-03-18T12:19:57","modified_gmt":"2014-03-18T16:19:57","slug":"jack-kornfield-answering-respond-someone-pain","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/healwritenow.com\/jack-kornfield-answering-respond-someone-pain\/","title":{"rendered":"Jack Kornfield Answering How He Would Respond to Someone in Pain"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Jack Kornfield, when asked by Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D. of Psych Central\u00a0what advice he would give to someone in great pain.<\/p>\n<div id=\"834978b2-7a70-484e-ad9b-a1f4fe04b4f4\"><strong>Jack: <\/strong>Very little advice to start with. I believe the most important thing I can do is to be fully present as I sit with them and not to try and advise them. To sit and be present, even to hold their hand or if they were not open to it, hold them in my heart and let my own experience resonate with theirs. To bring myself to their experience with as much compassion and care and perspective and deep breath and love as I could. To start with words I\u2019d be curious, what is your suffering, and what are your tears and anguish and trauma? I\u2019d want to know and not impose any advice, without first clearly hearing what they knew and where they were and what they were looking for.<\/div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<p>And then perhaps from this shared capacity to be present I\u2019d want to communicate a deep trust that we can open to it all and move through the experience of suffering. I\u2019d want them to know that their experience is part of their humanity, part of the difficulty and the gift of human incarnation and we are all called upon to bear our sorrows as well as our joys, and that we can bear them and they\u2019re not the end of the story. That our sufferings don\u2019t define us and we don\u2019t have to be so loyal to our suffering that we don\u2019t see that there is a greater mysterious majestic dance that we\u2019re a part of so that the communication of trust as well as the capacity to be present is there.<\/p>\n<p>Because it is as William Blake says that in the minute particulars that goodness is transmitted, not in the general or the ideological, but actually in the presence itself.<\/p>\n<p><a title=\"For the complete interview.\" href=\"http:\/\/blogs.psychcentral.com\/mindfulness\/2009\/12\/mindfulness-and-psychotherapy-an-interview-with-jack-kornfield\/\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"broken_link\" rel=\"nofollow\">For the\u00a0complete interview.<\/a><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Jack Kornfield, when asked by Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D. of Psych Central\u00a0what advice he would give to someone in great pain. Jack: Very little advice to start with. I believe the most important thing I can do is to be fully present as I sit with them and not to try and advise them. To sit [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[48,29,67,66],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v19.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Jack Kornfield<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/healwritenow.com\/jack-kornfield-answering-respond-someone-pain\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Jack Kornfield\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Jack Kornfield, when asked by Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D. of Psych Central\u00a0what advice he would give to someone in great pain. Jack: Very little advice to start with. I believe the most important thing I can do is to be fully present as I sit with them and not to try and advise them. To sit [&hellip;]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/healwritenow.com\/jack-kornfield-answering-respond-someone-pain\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Heal Write Now for Trauma Survivors &amp; Adults Abused as Children\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/HealWriteNow?ref=hl\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/HealWriteNow\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2014-03-18T16:19:57+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/healwritenow.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/03\/HealWriteNowLogoEARTH2.png\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"324\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"360\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/png\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@healwritenow\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@HealWriteNow\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Cissy White\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"2 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/healwritenow.com\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/healwritenow.com\/\",\"name\":\"Heal Write Now for Trauma Survivors &amp; Adults Abused as Children\",\"description\":\"Writing &amp; Inspiration to Heal Trauma\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/healwritenow.com\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/healwritenow.com\/jack-kornfield-answering-respond-someone-pain\/#webpage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/healwritenow.com\/jack-kornfield-answering-respond-someone-pain\/\",\"name\":\"Jack Kornfield\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/healwritenow.com\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2014-03-18T16:19:57+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2014-03-18T16:19:57+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/healwritenow.com\/#\/schema\/person\/21a13a82ce4000c7383830e1634cb9bd\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/healwritenow.com\/jack-kornfield-answering-respond-someone-pain\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/healwritenow.com\/jack-kornfield-answering-respond-someone-pain\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/healwritenow.com\/jack-kornfield-answering-respond-someone-pain\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/healwritenow.com\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Jack Kornfield Answering How He Would Respond to Someone in Pain\"}]},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/healwritenow.com\/#\/schema\/person\/21a13a82ce4000c7383830e1634cb9bd\",\"name\":\"Cissy White\",\"description\":\"Essayist \/ Journalist \/ Activist \/ Strategist \/ Feminist\",\"sameAs\":[\"http:\/\/www.healwritenow.com\",\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/HealWriteNow\/\",\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/healwritenow\"],\"url\":\"https:\/\/healwritenow.com\/author\/cissy-white\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Jack Kornfield","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/healwritenow.com\/jack-kornfield-answering-respond-someone-pain\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Jack Kornfield","og_description":"Jack Kornfield, when asked by Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D. of Psych Central\u00a0what advice he would give to someone in great pain. 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