Comments on: The Trauma Whisperer: Send Me Your Questions https://healwritenow.com/trauma-whisperer-send-questions/ Writing & Inspiration to Heal Trauma Mon, 30 Jan 2017 17:13:27 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=5.8.5 By: Cissy White https://healwritenow.com/trauma-whisperer-send-questions/#comment-7 Fri, 21 Mar 2014 11:39:06 +0000 http://healwritenow.com/?p=754#comment-7 In reply to Mira.

Mira,
Honestly, your line, “It’s good for me to know you are out there” is EXACTLY why I did this blog/website and what most nourishes me… to know others are out there.
And I LOVE CLARISSA PINKOLA ESTES and the concept of the Scar Clan. I love thinking of this circle that way. Thanks for being here and contributing!
Cissy

]]> By: Mira https://healwritenow.com/trauma-whisperer-send-questions/#comment-6 Thu, 20 Mar 2014 22:05:55 +0000 http://healwritenow.com/?p=754#comment-6 In reply to Cissy White.

Thank you, Cissy, for your kind and loving words. You are right, so-called “toughness” has to be handled as careful as our precious vulnerability. Let us walk the tightrope, together with all the people you reach with your great new blog. I am happy to be a part of the circle we can form. Ever heard of the Scar Clan, mentioned by Clarissa Pinkola Estes in “Women Who run With The Wolves”? It’s good for me to know you are out there.

]]> By: Cissy White https://healwritenow.com/trauma-whisperer-send-questions/#comment-5 Thu, 20 Mar 2014 16:50:47 +0000 http://healwritenow.com/?p=754#comment-5 In reply to Mira.

Mira,
Yay you. It’s one thing to know others aren’t intending to hurt you but it doesn’t mean a comment doesn’t still sting or cause a physical or emotional reaction. I’m sorry you were battered as a child. Those two words should not be so close together in a sentence.
When I was younger I thought I just needed to be tougher. First, I’m sensitive by nature so that wasn’t going to work too well. Second, a lot of time tougher is code for numb or “suck it up” or don’t bring attention to certain subjects. And doing any of that shutting down, which I have been able to do, just makes me numb, grumpy and eating a lot more carbs plus it makes me in a lousy mood. What’s so tough about that? Sounds like your reassuring yourself approach was effective, quick and caring – like how a child would be treated ideally. Yay you.
That’s breaking the cycle in my book.
Cissy

]]> By: Mira https://healwritenow.com/trauma-whisperer-send-questions/#comment-4 Thu, 20 Mar 2014 16:27:28 +0000 http://healwritenow.com/?p=754#comment-4 Some time ago a colleague of mine made some joke I really struggled to deal with at first. I had made a minor mistake and owned it calmly, no problem for me by now (no excessive shame etc any more like in former times). He wanted to be funny and said with a laugh: “Oh, you made a mistake, down on your knees, twenty blows with a stick, repent, repent!” My Inner Child – having been a battered child – panicked immediately!
Outwardly, I stayed calm and even managed to react coolly. My grown up me knew perfectly well that this guy didn’t know what he triggered in me, and as he had been a decent guy until then, I knew very well that there was no genuine threat in his words.
But my Inner Child didn’t know, and so I managed to make an immediate retreat to the loo where I took care of her and took time to soothe her and to reassure her that she is safe now, and that I’ll do my best to protect her.
It was the first time during my healing that I made such an experience. I had to realize how close under the surface all the pain still is and will always be. And other people don’t know my history, so unintendedly they will trigger difficult feelings every now and then. And it has been a very good experience how I instantly realized what happened and how I could take proper care of me and protect myself.

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