Comments on: Polyvagal What? Stephen Porges, Fear & Trauma

By: Cissy White

Cissy White — Fri, 17 Jul 2015 19:29:15 +0000

Hi Elizabeth,
Some of the material can be a little dry. I try to distill it to useful gems – at least for myself 🙂 and SAFETY is the TREATMENT is wonderful isn’t it? It’s so basic but so profound.
It takes practice doing the self-care or just basic care that others learn. But it’s exactly what you describe. We can do it but it’s not always the first impulse. So glad you came by! Cissy

By: Elizabeth

Elizabeth — Thu, 16 Jul 2015 18:42:20 +0000

I read through some of Dr. Porges work and watched some videos but it’s not quite registering. I’ll keep at it though because I’ve watched another seminar on Compassion Fatigue that talks about the vagus nerve and that did make sense.
What I really loved is hearing “Safety is the treatment.” The concept that as survivors, we live our lives ‘faking normal’ or white knuckling through life is finally becoming cruel enough to me, that I’ve just started giving myself permission to accommodate my own needs. Isn’t that nuts? Wild? Radical? Yes. And it’s also been really kind, compassionate, humanistic and peaceful.
I buy the soft blanket, and the shirt that is beautiful and covers my body how I want it to be covered. I eat the good food, even if it costs more. I create the space I want to come home to and set the pace for how I want to live. I set the boundary and leave when I need, instead of stay to make ‘them’ happy. I say ‘no’. I practice not apologizing. The hardest part is communicating those complex needs to a loving and available partner. You keep waiting for the other person to get sick of all your disclaimers, but the price my body makes me pay for not honoring those disclaimers has become too high. And then there’s the balancing of awareness. I think at some point I began looking around at people and noticing they had all managed to figure out what they wanted or needed to have a nice day at the beach or a good hike; were my ‘disclaimers’ or needs really any different? or any more or less? No. I had just deemed all of my needs as excessive, obnoxious, too much-insert the sound of my mother sighing, my father screaming or someone rolling their eyes. Permission to be alive and have needs-granted. Meeting needs = Safety = not aggravating that polyvagus nerve and spending the day with acute anxiety because of out of control somatic symptoms.
The most basic question gets missed by healthcare: What do you need to feel safe before we begin? Imagine if a doctor asked that?? Most don’t, so I’ve had to learn to be my own advocate, which can be exhausting. Hooray for trauma-informed care!
Anyway, great stuff. Thank you!

By: Practical Porges & What Makes a Body Feel Safe (Part 3) - Heal Write Now for Trauma Survivors & Adults Abused as Children

Wed, 05 Nov 2014 13:41:55 +0000

[…] to feel safe with another,” he said. Sucks, right? This was also discussed in more detail in Part 1 of Polyvagal What? Stephen Porgest Fear & Trauma and Sucks Part 2 of Polyvagal […]

By: Bessel van der Kolk Speaks with NICABM's Ruth M. Buczynski about Trauma on 10/29/2014 & I Take Notes & Think About What Expertise Means - Heal Write Now for Trauma Survivors & Adults Abused as Children

Thu, 30 Oct 2014 17:14:52 +0000

[…] My note: We’ve not come that far. Stephen Porges is also talking about calming the brain through calming the body and expanding these types of thoughts with Polyvagal Theory. […]

By: Pamela Brooke

Pamela Brooke — Tue, 21 Oct 2014 18:07:06 +0000

What a wonderful response to Stephen Porges and his polyvagus work! Wonder what you’ll do with the remaining five webinars. Hats off.