Comments on: Listen to Survivors Speak after Years of Being Silenced https://healwritenow.com/listen-to-survivors-speak-after-years-of-being-silenced/ Writing & Inspiration to Heal Trauma Tue, 24 Jul 2018 03:41:11 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=5.8.5 By: Kellie S https://healwritenow.com/listen-to-survivors-speak-after-years-of-being-silenced/#comment-73084 Tue, 24 Jul 2018 03:41:11 +0000 http://healwritenow.com/?p=4827#comment-73084 I do not want sympathy or any “I am sorry you had that happen to you” comments. Why? Because I am not sorry that my half brother raped me when I was 6 or that my biological father emotionally, physically and sexually abused me until one week after I graduated from high school. Today at 39 years old, I love who I am and I have become the person I am today not because of but inspite of the trauma I experienced in the first 18 years of my life. In the 21 years since, I have survived! I have battled depression to the point that it almost won, but the rope broke, yes I tried to hang myself. I found ways to deal with anger that was so bad that I was in a constant state of rage. I have taught myself how to recognize that I am getting anxious and to identify the cause of the anxiety, so that I can get away from the cause or so I can take the steps necessary to calm myself. I have learned so very many things. However the most important thing that I have learned is that I have the ability to stop what happened to me from happening to someone else and that I can help others who are being silenced have a voice and that is why I am a SURVIVOR and a FIGHTER. I learned that being open about my history being abused has allowed me to reach out to people who otherwise may have been lost forever and allowed me to find value and reason for the abused I endured.

No I am not ever “healed” nor will I ever be “normal” but I do not want to be. I love the me I am today and if I had not experienced it all I would not be who I am today.

]]> By: Cissy White https://healwritenow.com/listen-to-survivors-speak-after-years-of-being-silenced/#comment-73076 Sun, 22 Jul 2018 17:42:02 +0000 http://healwritenow.com/?p=4827#comment-73076 In reply to Andrea Reid.

I’m sorry for all you have experienced. I’m glad you found this site. There’s so much we can do to become the people we needed, as kids so that we have ourselves and are there for others, maybe even our own kids. Warmly, Cis

]]> By: Andrea Reid https://healwritenow.com/listen-to-survivors-speak-after-years-of-being-silenced/#comment-73068 Fri, 20 Jul 2018 14:16:53 +0000 http://healwritenow.com/?p=4827#comment-73068 I grew up getting the shit beaten out of me by my moms boyfriend, from ages 10-20 yrs old. They did get married but not until I turned 18 because they couldn’t claim me on taxes anymore, not for love. One time, early on, I got beat with the belt over 100 times with bruises on my ass for months! My younger sister and I shared a room and were told to clean it. When it was checked, for every ONE item on the floor was a beating with the belt. A pair of shoes equaled two hits. Even if the room was tidy, it didn’t matter, so I had over 100. It was excruciating and TRAUMATIZING. I couldn’t then, and still can’t believe that anyone would let that happen to a child! That’s not an isolated incident, by far. That is just one example out of 20 years to choose from. Although, as I got older and stronger, I started fighting back. My mother might not defend anyone, but I refused to let some asshole beat on me! I WASNT a doormat with zero self respect, laying around for losers to walk all over. The last fight was Dec 92 before I was to leave for boot camp 10JAN93, so I lived with my friend until I left. There were three big fights…
1) 16 ended up in ER torn ligaments in R hand & lived with my friend
2)senior year kicked out again and had to live with my friend. Didn’t get to graduate because I had to support myself instead
3)Dec 93 huge fight right before boot camp

I wasn’t a bad kid, either. I was advanced and smarter than both my mother and her boyfriend by 11, so I got the anger of his feelings of inadequacy, but nobody told me. Instead, I got beat and kicked out multiple times because that’s just so much better.

I could go on and on for days with many more examples of the horrible abuse I endured for 10 years
, but there’s just not enough room

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