Comments on: Allegations of employee mistreatment roil renowned Brookline trauma center (www.boston.com) & commentary

By: Cissy White

Cissy White — Wed, 21 Mar 2018 09:28:33 +0000

In reply to Survivor. Dear Survivor: Thank you for this comment. It sounds like you have been scrappy and fierce and creative on your path. YAHOO!! I love this: " I sang songs that allowed me to express my feelings with lyrics or melodies that communicated how I felt but couldn’t find the words. Because I did this alone, I felt completely free of fear of criticism." That's awesome. There are so many genius things/ways people find. It blows my mind. For me, writing gave me that sense of freedom (and I have a shredder for what I just need to let rip and not share). Thank you, again, for commenting! Cissy

By: Survivor

Survivor — Tue, 20 Mar 2018 01:36:18 +0000

Thank you for this article. I own Naparstek’s book. ‘Invisible Heroes”. I bought and listened to her guided imagery. It was very healing. Years of traditional therapy made me more traumatized. I quit and searched for alternatives to do on my own that worked for me. I am now healed to a degree I didn’t think possible. I still have more healing to do and more alternative methods to explore. Your article gave me hope to keep trying. Thank you so much. I also did singing for over 2 years. I sang along in a room alone to songs on YouTube etc. I sang songs that allowed me to express my feelings with lyrics or melodies that communicated how I felt but couldn’t find the words. Because I did this alone, I felt completely free of fear of criticism. I even recorded my singing and it helped calm me. Reading about self compassion, narcissism (had many narcissistic abusers), alcoholic families, abuse by siblings and step families, abandonment, attachment issues, and learning new skills helped enormously. I am grateful to the therapists who wrote (mainly women ) caring, nurturing, supportive books to help me heal. The best were by therapists who “listened” to their clients. They acknowledged the learning from their own clients and how they had teach themselves a new way of treatment because what they had been taught didn’t work. I hope soon to explore yoga and other body work. With my abuse history that will be very difficult but with patience and self compassion maybe I can find bodywork. That can help me heal. Now I am exploring writing my story and painting.

It is so sad that the conference you went to didn’t have survivors speaking. I realized years ago no one was listening. Many have egos and pride and have been brain washed in their education to not listen. I hope trauma therapy can advance and move forward from this.

Again, thank you. Extremely affirming and validating points you made.

By: Bish

Bish — Fri, 16 Mar 2018 18:10:29 +0000

Thank you so much!! kisses

By: Cissy White

Cissy White — Thu, 15 Mar 2018 22:16:56 +0000

In reply to Tony.

Dear Trauma Learning:
You may be correct but from what I’ve read I’m not as clear that no one spoke to him as much as that he didn’t hear what was maybe said. But also, a bossy with that much power should not need to be confronted about bullying or denigrating. Some things are subjective but if that’s several staff members saying that, and if it’s been investigated, which has also been said, that’s not the same as not really knowing. It sounds like things did go through channels but if there were underlying and other motives, that I have no idea. But that’s not my first assumption.
Which does not mean I don’t completely agree that he’s a brilliant researcher and has made contributions to the field. We all have a shadow side and that includes those of us in this work (personally, professionally/both).
Thank you for commenting.
Cissy

By: Tony

Tony — Thu, 15 Mar 2018 19:29:59 +0000

Great article.

To me part of what we are seeing here is the reality that a person can be an outstanding teacher or trainer without necessarily having the ability to personally accomplish something perfectly themselves. In physical Sports we see that great coaches of gymnasts aren’t necessarily as physically capable as their students.

This doesn’t invalidate their abilities to teach, or the qualities of their teaching. Out of everyone in the trauma field today, I have found Bessel’s work and teaching by far to be one of the most helpful resources in my work with traumatized clients, and in my own trauma healing.

We all have shadows and it’s very easy for media to hype those Shadows. I feel really sad that from Bessels’ response it appears that nobody spoke to him directly about their concerns before this story broke. This seems inappropriate to me and smells like some kind of politically motivated action.

In the professional working environments that I know, when there’s a problem, protocol standards require that a person be informed thoroughly about the problem and be offered several opportunities to remedy the problem before being fired is even considered!